Less than 40 days left, oh my.

I will be back home in less the 40 days, approximately a month, barely a complete lunar cycle. One or two more posts and this blog will retire. I will continue to write, on my other blog, things thoughts and other things. This post has no direction, or purpose, just a little mental (now digital) post-it note, to mark the current moment in my adventure.

Let's see, I moved out of my apartment and am currently crashing at my cousin's place in Lyon dans le 8ieme (she's technically my second cousin, but who cares?, and she's pretty much just a friend now. I don't need to use the cousin link). She's gone for a few weeks, off on a vacation with her boyfriend and his family. So I got the place to myself, which is sweet. There's this great little court/back yard on the ground floor, perfect for some hoop sessions. Ah! She bought hoop makings, I got her hooked. Proud of myself, and stoked I finally have a hoop buddy in France.

What else? I will be seeing one more country before I head back. Norway! I have these two linguistics friends from UCSC who are in Europe this month. They spent about five days with me and we had a great time. Talked linguistic theory, dad-jokes, watched movies, toured Lyon (it is nice being the tour guide and not the tourist. More pride), ate great food, all in better company. They even helped me move out, what else are friends are for, right? It was really great seeing them; I'll be joining them for one more adventure in Oslo.

Anything else? I am going to miss my cool neighbor (not the crazy one. I will most definitely not miss that fucker). The neighbor who lived across the way, what a more than super nice guy. Tout les apéros ensemble, les repas, les cafés, la fête à Laval à Lyon, les plusieurs fois qu'il m'avait amèné à l'aéroport et récupéré ...

And of course, I am going to miss my family too. It has been great getting to know them, now the names and faces aren't just vague or from photographs, but from actual memories. Without them, I wouldn't have been able to leave that terrible au-pair job in Grenoble; without them, I wouldn't have found that office job, that apartment, that confidence, all of it.

Merci beaucoup la famille, les amis, et la France!

List of things to do when I move back to California

1. In n Out
(the rest in no particular order)
2. Giants game
3. Exploratorium
4. Pacific Ocean
5. Monterey Bay Aquarium
6. Mexican food
7. Hula hoop with Valerie
8. Treasure Island Music Festival
9. Thanksgiving
10. go to a store on a Sunday and/or during the middle of the night
11. It's It
12. Sharks game
13. Smoke pot
14. Have an Anchor Steam

Barcelona: short and sweet

I was only in Barcelona for a few days, a shame really. A quick visit is never enough, but much better than never seeing it. Such a beautiful city, amazing really. Reminds me so very much of California: the Spanish, the colors, the beach, the skaters, the skate parks, the bicycles, the sun, the people, the music. All of it felt like home. My time in Barcelona was short and sweet (like this post), but it was worth every second, every grain of sand between my toes, every note of music played in the streets, every step I took in that city. Barcelona, I promise I will return.

My favorite sets were:

Future Islands (I hadn't heard of them until I saw them on the line up, and started listening to them before the fest, and fell in love. And then when I saw them live, they blew me away. They translate their studio work amazingly on stage, even better. Plus they played my favorite song, A dream of you and me.)


Kaiser Chiefs (I have been a fan of them since high school, one of the first bands that I got into without my mom's influence. haha. So glad to have seen them live. The lead singer, Ricky, is a maniac on stage. I got to touch him!!!!!! He ran into the crowd, climbed the sound booth, a non-stop hurricane.)


Little Dragon (they are amazing on stage. played a song from their latest album I really enjoyed, Killing Me. And the last song they played (I forgot the name), they remixed it for this super tribal vibe, everyone dancing to the beat, like a post-modern tribe, beautiful, and the singer has an enchanting stage presence), 


and Girls in Hawaii (they ended with my favorite song, Flavor, and brilliantly played a great live version of it, I thought my ears were going to explode. The kind of band that you'd show someone who thinks music died after the 70s. )

Post Dour Fest Facts

This is how it all went down at the Dour Music Festival: 4 days of alternative music and love, Made in Belgium with Love.

Thursday's artists I saw: Son Lux, Leaf House, Future Islands, Chet Faker, Darkside, Gramatik.

3 pikachus.

4 kings: King Camping B, a lion king, a shower king, and a shirtless tired king.

Friday's: Apaches, Bombay Show Pig, Intergalactic Lovers, Fakear, Raekwon, Band of Skulls, Klingande, Little Dragon.

And there is nothing like peeing in a festival port-a-potty to remind you of humanity and the current place you hold in it.

A unicorn and dragon dancing together.

2 days of sunburns, 2 days of mud wrestlers.

A viking, another dragon, and a banana.

Saturday's: 65daysofstatic, Shigeto, Cypress Hill, Girls in Hawaii.

Seas of Quechua tents and so many fedoras in so many colors.

2 deaths (Please, be smart and hydrate; be caution of cocktail drugs).

Sunday's: Moaning Cities, Lisa LeBlanc, Deap Vally, Dub Inc, Casseurs Flowters, Kaiser Chiefs, Pheonix (Tyler the Creator missed his flight).

All in all, sounds like your typical festival. It is a dirty, muddy, peace-loving, smelly, sweaty, love-loving, thirsty, ugly, pretty, international, crazy culture and I'm proud I'm part of it.

DOOOOUURREEEEEEEE!

just because it has been a while....

just because it has been while since i have last spoken, i thought i should,
i thought i should at least give an update, une mise à jour,
i dont even recall when was my last post, i guess im a less than average host,
but this update i promise,
pretty sure these are les nouvelles depuis mon derrier post,
i bought a hula hoop, its a beautiful 35" 100psi collapsible hoop with purple and yellow grip tape and silver tape between the criss-cross. it was my birthday gift to myself. fun fact, it was made in lawrence, kansas, the same lawrence that is the hometown to the winchesters.
the fandoms i joined within the year, in what i think is proper order: dollhouse, supernatural, dark angel, attack on titan...
i turned 24. close to that quarter life crisis ive been thinking about.
what else...
im almost done with my work contract, a week left. then the sweet glory of an unemployed summer lay ahead. a summer programmed for a music festival and who knows what else.
i have begun to prepare for my departure from here, for my return home. and i have learned, you can accumulate more than you think in less than a year. i really must figure out what to do with these chairs, that couch, this stove, those dishes, and more dishes, oh and the coffee maker too...
and that music festival i mentioned, i am seriously looking forward to it. music is my religion if you havent guessed, and a festival, well, thats my pilgrimage, and it is long overdue. beautiful barely touches the surface, and there are still 23 days until im there.

there you have it internet, you are all caught up with this little californian's update on her life abroad.

This blog...

... was going to be about traveling, wasn't it?

... wasn't going to be so heavy and negative, was it?

... was going to be "fuck yea, life" wasn't it?

My apologies if things got deep and sad. Those seem to be the moments when I put pen to paper most often.

But, I vow this: To see more and write the moments that will not leave me. And to leap at any chance to see that more I mentioned.

Perhaps bittersweet?

All things considered,
all memories recalled,
all of it fresh in my mind,

There is not one regret,
not one doubt,
nothing negative about it.

Were there tears? Of course.
Homesick? Definitely.
Fear? Maybe.

From the tears, growth.
Homesickness showed me who's important.
And the fear brought me strength.

These sad forces were here,
not to make me sad, but
to help me overcome, help me grow.

All things considered,
I'm glad I came here,
Glad I took the leap,
Proud of myself for believing in myself.

Let me have my summer here,
And feel the sun.
Let me feel the summer before finding my way back home.
Come September, come September.

Nächste Station: Deutschland

written the 8th of March 2014.
Let's see,
I spent a night in a Berlin train station,
met a violin maker,
saw Bielefeld, Hamburg, Göttigen,
had drinks overlooking Hamburg's shipping yard and the Elbe at sunset,
and took lots of pictures of bikes.
...
written the 10th.
bought a bilingual dictionary,
ate at Doner King,
sunbathed all Sunday,
and got high on movie night.
And on the train back, I am less nervous when listening to the announcements.
Ich lerne Deutsch?

#showerthoughts

is this the most needed alone time i needed, that i didn't know i needed. living alone, in a foreign country, albeit half of my roots are here but it is still foreign, the only name on the mailbox. this is maybe what i have been searching for, a cure for my restlessness all these years. to move and see and experience other things and sights. although alone, i feel surrounded. although alone, i feel loved. strange, this is a thought i had in the shower. talk about a moment of clarity.

Countdown to Germany

I have 40 days before the next time I'll be on a plane,
I have 40 days to learn German, at least:
Eine bier bitte.
My Lonely Planet came in the mail today.

I've caught the Travel Bug, and it already wants to pack our bags.
It wants to be in the airport, just sitting in the terminal, happy to wait, watching the giants navigate through their playground.

Patience Travel Bug, 40 days left and then we'll be off.

Dear Annais

Dear Annais,
Remember the time Valerie stickered the lamp post with the pink KZSC radio monster? It was October 2011, we were in New York City and you were showing us around. We ended up eating French fries on some Manhanttan stoop; I believe you told us they were the best French fries in town. I plan to come back to that stoop, maybe even with some more of those fries, and hope to see that sticker, weathered by time, still on that lamp post.

My Annais, I don't have many memories with you and it breaks my heart. And although you left me, although you left everyone too soon, but not too long ago, I feel like the few memories I do have are fading from clips to pictures; all I can do is pray that the pictures don't become faded pieces of paper in my memory. But there is something, someone, maybe it is you, telling me I will never forget, they will never fade. I will remember, love, and miss you, regardless of time.

Annais, I'm writing you today to tell you of my travels. Your life, your aspirations for the future, your smile and laughter, it all inspires me to continue. Continue what? you might ask. To be honest I don't know, but I have begun. I have started and will continue seeing the world, listening to unknown languages and unknown musics.

I have done and learned much. In September, I started in Grenoble, as an aupair. It didn't work out at all, I had a bad experience but I learned from it, and learned even more about myself. But while in that city, I saw beautiful mountains and even had some poetic moments. I used my weekends to see my family, my father's side to whom I felt so disconnected from during my childhood. As things went sour while being an aupair, I found the support and love of my family, and with that support I found the inner strength to stand up for myself, to not put up with bullshit. End of October, I walked away from my life as an aupair, fully knowing, to quote my aunt, je "ne serais pas a la rue". Things seemed to work out perfectly, I found a real job a few weeks later and an apartment a month after that, all in the same town of Saint Germain au Mont d'Or. After being the homeless American cousin for two months, I finally have a place of my own. I got the keys December ninth. I wish you could visit and see it, I really think you'd like the little corner of the world I have started to make for myself. Between all that, I took a trip to Scotland for a week in November, stayed with some friends I made back in August. To quote you, it was "mad brick tits cold outside", but I managed to still have fun (perhaps even too much. I had to let off some steam to say the least), it is a beautiful place and the Scotish are so kind and good-humored. For Christmas, I spent a week in Chevreaux with my cousin and her family (little fact, it is my grandfather's hometown). I even went cross country skiing with them, confirming my claim that I am not an athelet.

A new years resolution of mine was to see this new year in a new country, and I have, in France. Perhaps I should keep that as a fixed resolution, and change the country each year. It hurts me when I think of the coming year, a year without you. All I can do is honor your spirit. Year-round, meet new people, share and celebrate with them, as I think you would and would want me to.

It is a strange feeling, being far from home, far from friends and family, far from the familiar. I will be honest with you, I may put on a mask of a strong independent woman who takes on the world with no regrets, but I sometimes feel like a little lost girl scared in this wide world of ours. I have done quiet well for myself: a job, an apartment, and family around me. So you probably wonder why I worry, why be scared? I wish had an answer, if I did I probably wouldn't have written to you.

What I am certain about, what never changes, is that although my friends are far, you are not. I can weather any change, any obstacle, anything as long as I know you are with me, looking out for me (yet again, you have probably so many friends in heaven it isn't easy keeping track of eveyone. Tell me, are the bagels better up there?).

I haven't seen much of this world, but what litle I have seen I wish I could show you. What little I have learned I wish I could share with you.

Annais, I miss you terribly. I think I speak for everyone when I say, we all miss you terribly.

I love you.
Jacqueline