This post has no first draft. Most others do. I'm skipping the pen this time: my pens are few and my ink low. This post mimics my thought pattern, a lack of properly structured sentences and things. Just my words on paper, that's best.
The sky is gray and the wind cold. Winter is knocking on my door and I refuse to let her in. I'm sure it is unwise, she will come howling soon enough, without asking this time. My room is lit and warm. My heart too. The vine on the neighbor's wall shakes, the leave move together, shivering in the wind. There's a calm in me that conflicts with the world around, yet I am balanced. I should really knock it off, these metaphors and such. This wordy poetry I try and write. I'm trying too hard.
But it is all true. I write what I see, and how I feel. I have taken to my blog like fuzz balls to Velcro. Most first drafts don't see the keyboard (I'd say typewriter, but let's face it: nobody uses those anymore, and if you do, why?), most first draft are my thoughts, tangled in themselves, no order and too many lost sentences. But the drafts that do meet the keyboard, that meet my blog, I share with those who read, those who happen to find this on the interwebs.
Nonsense.
But the balance in my soul. It wasn't there, I lost it. After a long search, after a long deep deep deep breath, I found it. Along with a straight back, a strong stance, and clear outlook.
This post will not reach anyone, it is a dart thrown far too far from the board, but it doesn't matter. I have listened to and almost forgotten the voice in my head, the one that said "you will be fine", but she's back, and louder than ever. You can't break me, my back is straight and my stance strong. The forces of winter can try, the negative people will try, but you can't break me. I've found my voice, and it's loud.
I don't know what I'm headed for, but I walking in it's direction.
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